How I’ve been blessed the most is seeing him set the example for what it means to live a life on purpose, to build an intentional life centered around loving God, and living out what he has called me to do. He’s also shown me what it means to truly prioritize loving people. More than that, the importance of cherishing a small group of people that we love deeply.
He sets the bar high here; if you’re a husband, pay close attention to what follows, and if you’re a wife, maybe give your husband a little grace on this. Years ago, when their children were still young, Lloyd decided that every Friday would belong to his wife, Linda; Friday became “Linda Day.” Whatever she wanted to do that day—whether on her own, with the children, or with Lloyd—is what they did. Decades later, Fridays are still Linda days in their house and he even recently gifted her a coffee table book commemorating years of memories made on Linda days that sits in their living room. A constant reminder of how cherished she is by her husband and children.
But no matter how long I am blessed to be under their mentorship, the day that I think I have nothing left to learn is the day I lose my ability to lead. Embracing and seeking mentorship isn’t a beginner’s tool, it’s what separates success with longevity from short-term wins.
That’s something I think we’ve gotten quietly wrong as a society in how we talk about leadership: we heap praise on self-made success and treat mentorship as a “beginner’s tool.” But it’s a growth mindset that drives success, and when you forget that, the fall can be swift.
Success itself can pose a danger to a growth mindset, because it isn’t inherently a teacher, it’s a confirmation bias. It’s excellent at confirming what you already believe and terrible at telling you what you still don’t know. That’s because the higher you climb as a leader, the more you live in an echo chamber. People stop telling you the truth and often, the room gets eerily quiet right when you need a voice other than your own the most.
At DLP we are intent on building a culture that prioritizes a growth mindset first and foremost, not just for leaders but for everyone across the organization. Last month we highlighted Driven for Greatness as our core value of the month and it struck me just how many of our other core values are actually building blocks of this larger one. In some ways, you could say it’s our core core value.
We define Driven for Greatness as being driven to seek knowledge and pursue growth and greatness each day in both our personal and professional lives. But in two words, it’s curiosity and drive. And as with all of our core values, it starts from the top—with me. An organization can’t outgrow its leader’s willingness to be taught. That’s why embracing mentorship isn’t a phase of leadership, it’s a discipline of leadership.
Carla and I apply this same thinking to our family life. Just as I want to model for the DLP team the grit, determination, and drive of a growth mindset, Carla and I want to do the same for our boys. We don’t buy our children everything they ask for, but we typically don’t say no to books. For each book we buy the older boys, if they do a book report on it and share what they’ve learned, as well as what new questions it has brought up for them, we give them the money the book cost; they’re earning from learning—something I actually picked up from how Maxwell’s own father treated reading in their home.
I’m also a huge proponent of returning to leadership and personal development books that you have connected with again and again. Not only does it reignite the initial motivation you felt at the time of reading, but often, when you’re reading the book at a different time in your life, you’re bound to find new takeaways. Here are some of the books I return to time and again:
- Chase the Lion by Mark Batterson (which I read every Thanksgiving)
- 5 Levels of Leadership by John C. Maxwell
- Built to Last and Great by Choice by Jim Collins
- Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer
