As a child, how many times did your parents encourage you to get back up before they let you stay down?
Maybe you failed to make the basketball team three times in a row, and even though you slept in a Michael Jordan jersey, with a basketball hoop in the driveway and one above your laundry basket, they shrugged their shoulders and said, “Okay,” when you announced you weren’t trying for the fourth time. They probably began to tell themselves the same thing you did: that you just didn’t have the talent to be on the court.
Imagine that same scenario, but now your parents don’t let you give up. Instead, they encourage you to talk to the coach about where you need to improve. Together, you develop a practice schedule focused on the skills you need to develop; 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week. On days you’re tired, you practice for 30 minutes. On days you’re sore, you practice for 30 minutes. On days you feel like you could play for hours, you practice for 30 minutes.
With or without knowing it, by not letting you give up, your parents have given you one of the greatest gifts they will ever give you: a sense of grit that, hopefully, will be imprinted on your identity for years to come. They have taught you to passionately pursue your goals—the big and the small—with unshakable commitment; to persevere against setbacks, challenges, and even failures.
Grit is a greater predictor of success than talent.
Teaching middle school math in NYC, Angela Ducksworth noticed a trend. The students earning the highest grades weren’t the smartest kids, but the hardest-working. Fascinated by what seemed counterintuitive, she spent the next ten years doing the research that would lead to her discovering that the common denominator among some of the world’s most successful people was, in fact, grit, not talent, skill, or intelligence alone. But what exactly is grit, and how is that different from just working hard?